Family Friendly

            Thought the Queen: Heavens it’s chilly. If I’m so bloody divine, why can’t I control the weather for my own Diamond Jubilee River Pageant? I do suppose that Oxo, Spick, and Span are enjoying frolicking in the Palace garden. They do like to like to get muddy in the rain; Silly dogs. The Queen stiffened as she sauntered toward the front of the barge, as Prince Phillip waddled closely behind. “At least no one can hear you from here,” she mumbled to her husband.

            “What’s that, my love?” he asked earnestly.

“Nothing dearest. ...Dreadful weather.”

“Mmm. Yes, dreadful.”

If one wanted to honor 60 odd-years of my reign, one would let me go on holiday to Hawai’i again. Having me endure four hours of the Thames’ stench in view of all these obsequious commoners—like it’s my funeral wake—it’s more like they’re testing how much longer I can take this. I should have abdicated. “Remember Hawai’i, Phillip dear?

“Of course, my love! Splendid country. Except for all those Pakis.”

“They’re Polynesian, dear.”

“Whatever.”

 Elizabeth had decided that complaining would not make today any more pleasant; and that Phillip was an idiot; As the boat approached the banks of Battersea Park, she did her wave; She turned to the left; She did her wave again; And tried her very best to crack a smile—until she heard Camilla’s voice.

“Your majesty!” she ingratiated. “Have you lost weight?”

“No, Camilla. I’m 85,” she pronounced, irritated. “I’ve given up on my figure, and by the looks of it, so have you dear.”

Bite your tongue, thought Camilla. She forced a nervous giggle. “You are too much, your Majesty.” Just a few more months; Just a few more months…. Of course, Camilla had been telling herself that for the past 10 years. But then again, she pondered, it worked with Diana. God, it’s frigid; I wonder if she knows that I’ve been trying to kill her. (Camilla had dropped cyanide into Her Majesty’s tea when they visited Wales earlier that week. She still felt sorry about the poor butler who tasted it first.)

Having shown herself to the river banks from every angle of the barge, Princess Kate returned to the royal box. Camera whore, thought Camilla. Diana wannabe, pondered the Queen.

Kate sensed tension, but no more than usual. She always suspected that neither Camilla nor the Queen approved of her lifestyle; But she marched on; She was a soldier; The fame was worth it. She has six million friends on Facebook, and her YouTube channel had one million subscribers. “What a splendid day!” she Tweeted on her rhinestoned iPhone before the Queen.

“Must you click away right now, my sweet,” asked Her Majesty.

“Oh my, sincerest apologies, mum,” Kate shrieked.

The old bag would tweet too, if she ever knew what the internet was, Kate pondered. Although I give Phillip credit; He learned how to IM his friends in the BNP. …I wonder if bright red was the way to go today. Perhaps neon yellow would have been more noticeable.

When I was first told to write a passage in the style of Virginia Woolfe, I decided to confront a theme that was present in nearly every book we’ve read besides Mrs. Dalloway. The theme of women against women is one we’ve discussed and read about many times.

The 3 characters in my narrative are all exaggerated characters. They are stereotypes in the sense that they are what we believe most royals are, snobby and pretentious. They represent not only what we think of royals, but also what women think of each other.

In The Beauty Myth, Naomi Wolf says that, “beauty thinking urges women to approach each other as possible adversaries until they know they are friends”, which is exactly what the women in my narrative are doing (Wolf 75).

Naomi Wolf goes on to describe the relationship between women who are strangers, she says that “Though women have networks of intimate friends, the myth, and women’s conditions until recently, have kept women from learning how to do something that makes all male social change possible: How to identify with unknown other women in a way that ins not personal.” (Wolf 75).

Mary Wollstonecraft also believes that women are one of the major factors constricting women’s rights. In A Vindication of the Rights of Woman she says, “I do not wish them (women) to have power over men; but over themselves.”(Wollstonecraft 70).

This theme isn’t limited to the non-fiction books we’ve read this year. In The Handmaid’s Tale, Aunts train Handmaids for their jobs. "The Aunts are allowed to read and write." Whereas all handmaids must be kept away from the sin that is literacy (Atwood 100).

            Women holding women back is a serious issue that many of the authors we’ve read this year are concerned about. However, it is one that needs to be addressed on a wider scale in order to educate more people on the topic.

           

Clarissa

            After finishing Mrs. Dalloway, it took me a while to decide whether I really liked the book or not. The writing style was hard to follow, and it generally just wasn’t the type of book I normally choose to read. The books running themes and change in perspective was what really convinced me that I liked it more then I disliked it.

            One of my favorite aspects of the book is the focus on people’s personalities, thoughts, human nature, and the purpose of existence in general.  One of the most intriguing aspects of the book is Clarissa’s view of the world relative to the way she acts. She thinks,

“We are a doomed race, chained to a sinking ship…as the whole thing is a bad joke let us… mitigate the suffering of our fellow prisoners…decorate the dungeon…be as decent as we possibly can” (Woolf 68)

If you ask me, she truly shows a frame of mind that is both carefree and cynical. Each of the characters in the book is truly unique. She shifts her writing style as she switches characters. To me, this was one of the most enjoyable traits of the book and is one of the main reasons I enjoyed it.

            Her writing is tinted with philosophical questions and perhaps meaning, something which I don’t normally find in the literature I read regularly. She constantly addresses aspects of life and asks questions about the nature of the universe. For example, when Clarissa lies down in her bed, Woolf narrates, “She would lie down…But—but—why did she suddenly feel, for no reason that she could discover, desperately unhappy” (Woolf 106). The question of ‘why’ is constantly asked, but is never really answered, which goes well with the morbid truth of the world that we are shown through each individual perspective.

            A third theme that I found interesting was the passage of time; something that Clarissa feels is escaping her grasp and leading to her inevitable death. This focus on time is evident when Clarissa describes a cloud crossing the sun, “silence falls on London; and falls on the mind. Effort ceases. Time flaps on the mast. There we stop; there we stand. Rigid, the skeleton of habit alone upholds the human frame” (Woolf 42). She also tries to continually cheer herself up. She Sais that she isn’t as old as she believes she is, saying things like, “she had just broken her fifty-second year. Months and months of it were still untouched. June, July, August!” (Woolf 31).

            Clarissa’s life and personal philosophies contradict. She hosts countless parties, decorates with bright flowers, feigning joy in a watchful and judgmental society. Her atheism and cynicism contrast greatly with her lifestyle. She lives normally with her husband in London and should have no reason to question the world or experience a depression of any sort, but then again it might just be her nature.

            

Naomi Wolf and Mary Wollstonecraft

Naomi Wolfe and Mary Wollstonecraft live in very different time periods. One lives in a time before the female rights movements of the 20^th century and the other after both. They both demand the education of women, their liberty from both themselves and the expectations put towards them in society. Although living in different time periods I’m sure that both women would’ve gotten along famously if they ever met. They both agree on so many subjects relating to women’s rights that I felt it necessary to write about it.

Wollstonecraft talks about society’s effect on women when she says in her book that women are, “Taught from their infancy that beauty is woman's scepter, the mind shapes itself to the body, and roaming round its gilt cage, only seeks to adorn its prison.” (Wollstonecraft 71). According to Wollstonecraft, British women consider beauty above all else in society, as they treat it as their way of getting ahead in life. Although not the focus of women’s lives in our day and age, women’s pursuit of beauty is still an issue. Wolf says that, “Many are ashamed to admit that such trivial concerns—to do with physical appearance, bodies, faces, hair, clothes—matter so much.” (Wolf 9).

Their views on beauty’s role in women’s lives do seem parallel but what is more outstanding is their opinion on how we can move onward and progress the rights of women. Both of them believe in a system of education that promotes women as equals to men and counters the negativity directed at women. Wollstonecraft says that, ”Till women are more rationally educated, the progress in human virtue and improvement in knowledge must receive continual checks.” (Wollstonecraft 84). Where Wollstonecraft talks of education, Wolfe talks about a change in mentality,

“A woman wins by giving herself and other women permission—to eat; to be sexual; to age; to wear overalls, a paste tiara, a Balenciaga gown, a secondhand opera cloak, or combat boots; to cover up or to go practically naked; to do whatever we choose in following—or ignoring—our own aesthetic.” (Wolf 290)

            They are two authors that have never met and never will. They’ve both impacted the people around them and both are heavy contributors to the women’s rights movement of the 70’s and 80’s.

So I asked some dudes

If your penis could wear anything, what would it wear?

“purple”

“a scuba diving outfit”

“a wig”

“a winter jacket”

“a leather vest”

“thick rimmed glasses and a bandana”

If your penis could speak what would it say?

“Hi, nice to meet you”

“baby baby”

“tally ho”

“Hello, nice to see you”

“floozle”

“hello”

            I conducted these interviews with some of my friends in the same way that it was done in Eve Ensler’s The Vagina Monologues. I did this to try and gauge the differences between the views women and men have on their genitalia.

I’ve only given a few of my total interview answers. The general gist of what I ended up with was a trend of confidence that I didn’t see in The Vagina Monologues.

            In the book, Eve Ensler talks about man elevating the penis above the vagina, “Hate to see a woman having pleasure, particularly sexual pleasure…they wouldn’t be able to stand it. Seeing all those energized, not taking shit, hot, happy vaginas” (Ensler 72).

            We are constantly shown examples of men controlling women sexually, in her book, Ensler talks about the issue of genital mutilation,

“Genital mutilation has been inflicted on 80 to 100 million girls and young women. In countries where it is practiced, mostly African, about 2 million youngsters a year can expect the knife—or the razor or a glass shard—to cut their clitoris or remove It altogether, to have part or all of the labia…sewn together with catgut or thorns” (Ensler 67).

            This issue, although terrible has been slowly losing popularity. Thanks to books like this and other associations, people are being educated on what’s wrong with genital mutilation and are being given other ways to culturally represent coming of age. “In some places, Africans seem to have been quietly putting an end to the tradition of genital cutting” says Ensler, who is all to aware of the unjust nature of those acts (Ensler 91).

            The clitoris contains twice as many nerve fibers as the penis, and I am reminded short narrative we read earlier in the year, If Men Could Menstruate.  If men had a body part as sensitive as a clitoris, it would be championed, praised, talked about, and written about infinitely more then the women’s clitoris is in our day and age.

The Abuse of Women

Recently, our class was shown a documentary on one organization’s charitable work in the Democratic Republic of Congo that helps women that have been raped and abused express themselves and have a safe haven. City of Joy has also been working with other charitable organizations such as V-Day and Unicef to fund the project. After the video I was taken aback by how powerful the message was. The women’s stories struck me and I was shown how big of an issue the abuse of women has become, especially in third world countries.

This video brought out some of the topics discussed in Eve Ensler’s The Vagina Monologues to mind. So much of what we read about in The Vagina Monologues is both terrifying and true. It’s happening in both first and third world countries. Eve Ensler discusses the numbers of women being raped in her book when she says,

“When I returned to New York after my first trip, I was in a state of outrage. Outraged that 20,000 to 70,000 women were being raped in the middle of Europe in 1993, as a systematic tactic of war, and no one was doing anything to stop it. I couldn’t unerstand it. A friend asked me why I was surprised. She said that over 500,000 women were raped every year in this country, an in theory we were not at war. “ (Ensler 60).

There’s very little that I more heartbreaking then just reading those numbers. Chapters in Ensler’s book such as ‘My Vagina Was My Village’ and ‘The Little Coochi Snorcher That Could” really show the mental and emotional trauma that comes as a result of abuse or rape. There’s a specific type of pain that goes with rape and I think the whole class was exposed to that when watching the video. We’re more educated about it, but more people still need to learn about how much of an issue rape and abuse of women are. 

The Domination of Women

The domination of women

            In all of the books we’ve read this year, their has been one justifiable assertion, that women are not equal to men because men do not permit them to become equals. Rape, marketing, marriage, and even education are all areas that we are shown in which the rights of women in relation to men are discussed.

            Rape is defined as “the crime, committed by a man, of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with him without their consent and against their will, esp. by the threat or use of violence against them.”, notice how it specifically refers to men as the people who are committing the crime (Oxford English Dictionary). In Jasmine, when Jasmine reaches America she is violently raped by ‘half-face’, who says to her, “I got one use for you, and you got no use for me, and you know what? That don’t bother me at all,” which further emphasizes how she is dominated by men (Mukherjee 113). This rape is a precursor to the dependence that Jasmine develops with every man she becomes romantically involved with. Even in India, she was so dependent on Prakash that when he was killed she made a promise to herself and her deceased partner that she would commit suicide to honor him. Throughout her life, Jasmine is controlled and dependant on the men in her life.

            In The Beauty Myth the topic of marketing is discussed over and over again. This is one of the most interesting aspects of the entire book. What I found the most interesting was that the marketing’s brainwashing of women has made it so that, “dieting is the essence of contemporary femininity.” (Wolf 200). When surveyed women, “the Austin (Texas) Stress clinic found, ‘dieting concern’ was strongly related to ‘positive feminine traits’ for men, food restraint was related to ‘socially undesirable femininity.’”(Wolf 200). This was one of the most interesting things I had ever read. This meant that men weren’t the one pressuring women into eating disorders, but rather the marketing industry. Pushing dieting products is much easier when your audience believes it’s a positive feminine trait.

            In A Vindication of the Rights of Woman, Mary Walstonecraft claims that women are educated to be dependent on another and to be weaker and gentler. She questions the system and says that, “Should it be proved that woman is naturally weaker than man, from whence does it follow that it is natural for her to labor to become still weaker than nature intended her to be?” (Walstonecraft 85)

            In The Handmaid’s Tale we’re shown a world where women’s rights are taken away. They are no longer allowed to read or write, to have their own jobs, or to be independent of a man. This is most evident when Offred holds the commander’s pen, “The pen between my fingers is sensuous, alive almost, I can feel its power, the power of the words it contains.”(Atwood 186). Her loss of rights has caused Offred to feel something just by holding a pen.

            This running theme of ‘the domination of women’ by men is one of the most obvious and common themes in the books we’ve read this year. It’s discussed or described in the literature we’ve been reading.

Society vs. Individuality

Have you ever noticed how impossible it is to find a place in central London where you can truly find yourself alone? Society can sometimes feel like overbearing, watching everything you do at all times, and holding certain expectations for every single person. This isn’t exclusive to modern times. Clarissa Dalloway experiences this in 1925 in Virginia Woolf’s Mrs. Dalloway. Clarissa is extremely self-conscious. Her life is public; she is under constant pressure to always be well composed and normal. Her normal behavior is one that she had to formulate for herself. In our day and age, we get an idea of what ‘normal’ behavior is through television and marketing, but Clarissa’s comes from public outings.

This fake normality that women have to hold in Clarissa’s time is both unhealthy and a promoter of negative feelings towards oneself. People are not taught to admire themselves, but rather to judge themselves every time they do something that doesn’t fit society. The fake nature of Clarissa’s also leads to some self-hatred where Clarissa feels like a, “frivolous [and] empty-minded; a mere silly chatterbox” (Woolfe 37). No one is allowed to really be himself or herself, which leads to a whole mess of negative feelings.

Society’s watchful eye and expectations not only hurt women in the book, but also men. Peter Walsh has his own struggles with keeping up these expectations. His struggles really come to life when he’s in Trafalgar square and he gets a feeling of indifference when he realizes that nobody there knows who he is and simply cannot judge him. He can live like “an unguarded flame, bow and bend” to what he really wants in life (Woolfe 45).

Society must stop expecting individuals to be satisfied with a life of normalcy, but rather a life that is true to oneself.